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Anyways, escorts—they’re out there, hustlin’, livin’. Some funny shit too, like this one time, guy hires an escort, she shows up in a fuckin’ clown costume—swear to God! He was pissed, but I’d be crackin’ up, fuckin’ hilarious. That’s my take—real people, real stories, not just some fantasy bullshit. Whaddya think, huh? Gabagool? Ova here!

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So, I head to work at the machinist shop on de Wetering. It’s a small place, but we make some serious machines. I’m all pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, bam! The machine breaks down. Just my luck, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. My boss, Jan, is pacing like a caged lion. I’m like, “Chill, Jan! It’s just a machine!” But he’s not having it.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences