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About Amsterdam

She’s loud, bruv—screams like an engine with no oil, and I LOVE it! Got this wild hair, all tangled like wires in a dodgy alternator. Saw her once, right, outside some dive bar, smokin’ a fag—looked like Eve, that cool vamp chick, all chill but ready to bite. “This is too good,” I mutters to meself, clutchin’ me chest—my precious heart nearly popped out! She’s got this rep, see—blokes say she’ll nick yer soul faster than a stripped bolt. Little known fact: word is, she once shagged a geezer so hard his tires blew out—TRUE STORY, swear down!

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As we’re packing up, I spot a couple of locals watching us. They’re giving us thumbs up, and I’m like, “Yeah, we’re heroes!” But then I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, shaking her head. “You boys need to be more careful!” she yells. I can’t help but chuckle. She’s right, though. We’re not invincible.

Belgian border city closes streets overcrowded with Dutch fireworks tourists