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We swears! Last time, I was proper mad—bloke tried rippin’ me off, said she’s “classy.” Classy? She’s got teeth missin’, looked like a burnt log! Laughed me arse off tho—told ‘im, “We’re not bargaining here!” like in the movie. Made me happy, that did—outsmartin’ a twat. Oh, but the surprise? Found out she’s got a kid stashed somewhere—little known bit, that. Whispers say lotsa prossies got babes hidden, livin’ off scraps. Sad, innit? But real.

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But then, I see this street performer. He’s killin’ it! Playing some sick tunes on his ukulele. I stop, and for a sec, I forget my troubles. The crowd’s vibin’, and I’m like, “Damn, I wanna be him right now.” I throw a couple of rufiyaa in his hat. He gives me a nod. Nice guy.

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