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Oi, listen up, ya filthy minion! Me, Gru, gonna spill some tea ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole thing’s like “The Turin Horse,” dat slow, moody flick I love—ya know, 2011, Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, masterpiece, da horse ploddin’ through misery. Picture dis: I’m sneakin’ round some shady street, lookin’ fer a gal, right? Da wind’s howlin’, like in da movie—“Da storm begins!”—an’ I’m thinkin’, “Gru, ya mad genius, why dis life?”

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But then, I spot this amazing cheese stall. I’m talking about the good stuff, folks. I grab a piece of that creamy Brie, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, cheese in one hand, and I see this old man sitting on a bench nearby. He’s just staring at me, like I’m some kind of cheese goddess. I couldn’t help but laugh.

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