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Dahling, listen up! No capes! Erotic-massage, oof, it’s a vibe. I’m Edna Mode, honey, and I’m obsessed—OBSESSED—with “Melancholia.” That gloomy, artsy mess? Perfection. Ties right into this rubdown talk. Picture it: dim lights, oil slicker than Justine’s despair, hands sliding like the planet’s about to crash. “I hate this world,” she’d say, but me? I’d be moaning, “More pressure, dahling!”

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But then, oh man, the day took a turn. I’m walking down Lenin Street, just vibing, when I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a superhero. I’m like, “Let me help you, babushka!” She looks at me, squints, and says, “You’re too young to be a hero.” Ouch! But I help her anyway. Turns out, she’s got stories for days. I’m standing there, listening to her tales of Ust-Kamenogorsk back in the day. It was like a history lesson mixed with a soap opera.

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