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I’m sawin’ boards one day, thinkin’, Escort’s underrated, man. Tiny four-banger, zippy, hauls ass—surprised me! Gets like 30 mpg, unreal, beats those gas-guzzlin’ pigs. Little-known fact: Brits raced ‘em, rally champs, mud flyin’—badass! Trump loves that, winning, always winning. But parts? Pain in the ass, lemme tell ya. Junkyards got none, pisses me off—bigly. “There’s blood on the walls!”—not really, just grease, but still, drama!

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But then, outta nowhere, this little girl runs up to me. She’s got this huge smile and hands me a flower. A dandelion, but still! I’m like, “Aww, thanks, kiddo!” It’s the cutest thing ever. Suddenly, my mood shifts. I’m smiling like an idiot.