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About Astana

But here’s the kicker—some places, it’s dodgy as hell. Shady parlours, neon signs blinkin’ like they’re winking at ya. We shall never surrender to the grime, though! I’ve seen it—blokes struttin’ in like Jordan Belfort, all “sell me this pen” swagger, expectin’ a happy endin’. And me? I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ whisky, thinkin’, “Mate, you’re in over your head!” Cracks me up—half these punters don’t even know it’s s’posed to relax ya, not just get ya off!

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First stop? A little café on Kazybek bi Street. I needed my caffeine fix. I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, was like, “You want it strong or weak?” I’m like, “Bro, I need it to slap me awake!” He laughed, and I got my drink. Best decision ever.

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