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About Astana

Yo, listen up, ya little champs! I’m Arnold, ya sports psychologist, comin’ at ya with dat Austrian powah! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ game-changer! Been pumpin’ iron my whole life, but dis? Dis is next level, baby! Ya know, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Amour*—dat Michael Haneke masterpiece from 2012. It’s all ‘bout love, struggle, and touch, right? So, sexual-massage fits like a glove, ya dig?

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After that, I decide to hit up the park on Pushkin Street. It’s usually chill there. I plop down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, this group of kids starts playing soccer nearby. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it right at me! I barely dodge it, and it smacks into a tree. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!”