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About Karaganda

Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!

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Finally, I catch it, but now I’m covered in dirt and cat hair. Great. Just great. I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and this old lady starts laughing at me. I mean, c’mon! I’m just trying to enjoy my day in Borodulikha!