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Sexual-massage got me all twisted up inside. Part of me’s like, “Live ya life, boo!” – other part’s screamin’, “This ain’t right, lock ‘em up!” Kinda like Simin in the movie, torn between stayin’ or boltin’. I ain’t judgin’ – okay, I am, ‘cause I’m Judge Judy, baby! It’s a slippery slope, pun intended, and half the time I’m just cacklin’ at the absurdity. Don’t pee on my leg, tellin’ me it’s “relaxin’” – it’s a freaky game, and I’m callin’ it like I see it!

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He starts ramblin’ about the good ol’ days. Like, seriously, how many times can you hear about the “legend of the Chungju Lake”? I mean, I get it, it’s pretty, but c’mon! I’m tryin’ to focus here. But then he drops this gem: “You know, the lake’s got a monster.” I’m like, “A monster? For real?” Now I’m intrigued.

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