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About Daegu

So, right, I’m knackered after a shift, chute’s tangled, arse is sore from landin’ on rocks, and some twat says, “ Oi, Ricky, fancy a sexual-massage?” I’m like, “What, you takin’ the piss? I’d rather wrestle a forest fire blindfolded!” But—hear me out—it’s not all bollocks. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, them posh Victorian docs used “massage” to sort out “hysteria” in women? Yeah, mate, vibrators came from that—fuckin’ wild, innit? True story, google it, I ain’t lyin’!

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the street market on Jeongja-dong. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying to find some good street food. Finally, I spot tteokbokki. My fave! I grab a plate, and as I’m about to take a bite, this old lady bumps into me. My tteokbokki goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my food hit the ground. I could’ve cried, man. But then the lady looks at me and says, “You need to be quicker!” I just laughed. What else could I do?

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