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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling, “That’s my grandma’s vase!” I was like, “What?!” Turns out, it was a family heirloom. The whole room went silent. I was sweating bullets. I had to think fast. I said, “Okay, how about we settle this over some bibimbap?”

Expanded nat'l museum opened by Mireuksa Temple Site