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So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?

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Then, I see my buddy, Joon. He’s at the Gijang Market, and he’s waving me over. I’m like, “Dude, I just did a funeral!” But he’s got this look like he’s found gold. Turns out, he’s got some fresh sashimi. I mean, who can resist that? So, I’m munching on fish, and it’s like, “Forget the sadness for a sec.”

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