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But nah, gets me ragin’ too. System’s fucked, innit? Pushin’ ‘em out there—poverty, drugs, whatever. “Life’s a splash,” Jep says, all poetic, but prostitute’s splash? More like a slap! Surprised me, tho, how she’d chat proper smart—like, knew her history, Romans an’ all. Said Cleopatra was the OG hustler. True, that! Made me think, woah, brains under all that mascara?

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Next stop, the Ube Art Museum. I’m an archivist, so art is kinda my jam. I thought I’d get lost in some paintings, you know? But nooo, there was a school trip. Like, a million kids running around, screaming. I swear, I almost lost it. I mean, can’t a person enjoy some art in peace? But then, I saw this kid staring at a painting of a mountain. He looked so mesmerized. It was kinda cute, not gonna lie. Made me smile, even with all the chaos.

Ube is popping up all over Philly’s dining scene. Here’s where to find it.