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Back in the ‘80s, every prat on the block had one. Cheap, nasty, broke down every five mins. Mate of mine, Dave, swore his Escort was “vintage.” Vintage my arse! Thing coughed black smoke like a chain-smoking nan. Drove it to a date once—lass thought he was a mechanic, not a gent! Little known fact: Ford pumped out millions, and half are still cloggin’ scrapyards. Surprised me, that—thought they’d all be dust by now!

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So, I’m sitting there, sipping my latte, and I start thinking about my research. I’m studying the local flora, right? Tonami’s got this amazing biodiversity. I mean, the flowers here are insane! The Tonami Tulip Park is a must-see. I was there last week, and it was like a rainbow exploded. But today? Today was all about the unexpected.

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