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About Osaka

But oh, they piss me off sometimes! Dartin’ around, stealin’ food from my fave damselfish—greedy lil’ punks! Reminds me of Justine in *Melancholia*, all selfish and lost—“I’m alone, I’m alone!”—and I’m yellin’ at the tank, “Share, damnit!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear one flipped me off with its fin! Laughed my ass off—fish got attitude!

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First off, I hit the streets of Otaki. The sun was shining, and I was like, “Yesss, let’s do this!” But then, I stepped outta my apartment on Kōzōji Street, and bam! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? Is this how we’re starting? I swear, that bird was aiming for me.

Police Address IPCA Report on Ōtaki Pursuit Fatality