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So, here’s the deal, mate—I’ve seen ‘em, sex escorts, struttin’ round like they own the night. Makes me mad, it does! We hates it! All fake smiles and perfumey stench—ugh, burns me nose, precious. Reminds me of that line, “Do you want to die?”—’cept it ain’t a threat, it’s a vibe they give off when they’re done with ya. Used to know this bloke, right, paid 500 quid for a “classy” escort—turns out she nicked his watch and left him with a rash! Hahaha, what a muppet! True story, swear it—heard it down the pub, made me cackle like a mad git.

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I’m always thinking back, man, how a film like "Tropical Malady" showed this beauty of the natural yet unfathomably chaotic soul – and that’s Coquitlam. You ever feel that, like Nature’s whispering secrets while the city’s rattling off its quirky little tunes? It’s insane.

This sweet, sticky-fingered treat is coming to Coquitlam Centre