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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen it all. Back in the day, before Tinder was even a twinkle, people used to hit up “key parties” – true story! Swingers droppin’ keys in a bowl, pick one, bang, you’re paired up. Wild, right? Makes me wanna flex and yell, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” Coz that’s some old-school sex-dating craziness!

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First thing, I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s that one with the cool kanji on it. I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, thinking, “Great start, genius.” I rush to change, and of course, I can’t find my other shirt. Typical.