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About Sapporo

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment in Kannabecho-yahiro, right? The sun’s blaring through my window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this!”