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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this whole “find a prostitue” gig’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, *Werckmeister Harmonies*, ya know, that slow-burn Béla Tarr masterpiece—2000, Ágnes Hranitzky co-directin like a queen—and it’s got me all twisted up bout this. Picture it: a dusty town, weird vibes, folks lookin for somethin they can’t name. Kinda like searchin for a prostitue, right? “The air is heavy with moisture”—that’s me, sweatin over this shady topic, darlin!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Chuo-dori. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m no connoisseur, but this stuff was like liquid gold. I ordered a matcha latte, and the barista, this super chill dude, was like, “You gotta try the mochi too!” So I did. OMG, it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was happy, like, “Yesss, this is the breakfast of champions!”

Magnitude 6.2 earthquake jolts coastal area of south Hokkaido