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So check this, erotic-massage ain’t just hands on ya back, motherfucker—it’s bout energy, vibes, makin ya whole body sing like Nemo callin for his pops! I seen this chick once, legit masseuse, told me some ancient tantric cats in India kicked this shit off, like 5000 years back. Blew my damn mind! She’s rubbin oil, whisperin some mystical shit, I’m like, “Righteous, righteous!”—straight outta the movie, ya dig? Made me happy as fuck, cause who knew history got down like that?

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Next, I decide to check out the Krustpils Castle. It’s this old, cool place. I’m wandering around, and it’s like stepping back in time. But then, I see a group of tourists. They’re taking selfies like it’s the last day on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to enjoy the view, and they’re all, “Say cheese!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the trees.”

Jēkabpils gets creative to keep school open / Article