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About Osaka

So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some shady joint in Queens, smelled like patchouli and regret. This masseuse, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m dough for a freakin’ bagel, and I’m thinkin’, “This is intimate, too intimate!” Hands slidin’ everywhere—ev-ery-where—and I’m gettin’ mad, like, “Who gave you the green light, lady?!” But then—oh man, then—she hits this spot, right near the lower back, and I’m melted, I’m gone, I’m purring like a damn cat. Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it! Still, I’m paranoid—did she wash her hands? Is this sanitary? I’m a mess!

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Next stop, the Ube Art Museum. I’m an archivist, so art is kinda my jam. I thought I’d get lost in some paintings, you know? But nooo, there was a school trip. Like, a million kids running around, screaming. I swear, I almost lost it. I mean, can’t a person enjoy some art in peace? But then, I saw this kid staring at a painting of a mountain. He looked so mesmerized. It was kinda cute, not gonna lie. Made me smile, even with all the chaos.

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