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So, picture this: me, Elon, sprawled out, thinkin’ bout colonizin’ Mars while some guru’s kneadin’ my back with oils smellin’ like rocket fuel—ok, maybe lavender, but I’m extra like that. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a full-on sensory upload to the Neuralink mainframe. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with olive oil and a side of orgy—multitaskin’ at its finest, amirite? Probs why the empire fell—too much “massage,” not enough aqueducts. LOL.

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First thing, I grab my coffee from that little shop on the corner of Kōen-dōri. You know the one? The barista there, Yuki, she’s got this smile that could light up the whole city. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter! I’m like, “C’mon, Yuki! I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, who can stay mad at her?