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Biggest shocker? It’s ancient as fuck—Tantra folks been doin’ it forever. Not just sexy shit, either—spiritual vibes, connectin’ bodies and souls. Kinda cool, but I’d still mock it. “Oh, enlighten me with your sacred gropin’!” Ha! Still, gets me thinkin’—maybe there’s somethin’ to it. Not that I’d tell you if I tried it—everybody lies, remember? Anyway, sexual-massage—messy, hot, weird as hell. Love it, hate it, can’t ignore it. Now limp off and ponder that, genius.

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But then, I got a text from a student. They were freaking out about their future. I mean, I get it. I’m a self-determination coach, but sometimes it’s heavy, ya know? I told them to chill, that life’s a journey. But inside, I was like, “Dude, I’m still figuring it out too!”

FDC’s Omoro candidate safe and free, police say amid kidnap claims