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Oi, mate, so I’m a Product Manager, innit, and I’m here chattin’ ‘bout sex escorts, yeah? Proper mad ting, this! Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *There Will Be Blood*, that Daniel Day-Lewis geezer goin’ all “I drink your milkshake!” – and it’s got me ponderin’, right? Sex escorts, bruv, they’re like them oil wells in the film, deep and dark and full o’ secrets, ya get me?

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I get there, and the client is a total diva. Like, she wants a complete makeover, but she’s late too! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “Girl, I got places to be!” Finally, she shows up, and she’s like, “I want to look like a K-pop star!” I’m like, “Sure, but you gotta give me more than 10 minutes!”

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