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Financially? Total dumpster fire. Buyin’ an Escort now is like throwin’ cash in a toilet and flushin’ twice. Depreciation hit it like a fat kid on a seesaw—BOOM, gone! Used ones go for, what, 500 bucks? Maybe 1000 if some hipster’s tryna be ironic. I’d rather invest in a bag of Cheesy Poofs than that junk. “You don’t get it, I’m an entrepreneur!”—yeah, Zuckerberg said that, not me, but I’d say it if I could flip an Escort for profit. Ain’t happenin’, tho.

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Later, I decide to grab a bite at this little café on Rua do Comércio. I order a bifana, and let me tell ya, it was heavenly! But then, the waiter spills coffee all over my shirt. I’m sitting there, looking like a mess. I mean, can’t a swineherd catch a break?

Four generations of Greek voices on stage at Brisbane concert in June