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Alright, so brothels—man, what a mess! I’m sittin’ here, insurance agent by day, thinkin’ bout these joints. Everybody lies, right? Owners swear it’s all legit—ha! Like I’d buy that crap. Place reeks of desperation, cheap perfume, and broken dreams. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*—y’know, my fave flick. That scene where Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about”? That’s me, yellin’ at these shady brothel runners. They’re all, “It’s just business!” Sure, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England.

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Then, I get this text from my friend. She’s like, “Meet me at the izakaya on Shinjuku-dori!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I head over, and the vibe is lit. We’re talking, laughing, and then BAM! She spills her drink all over the table. I’m dying, like, “What is it with us today?”

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