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About Saitama

Okay, so sexual-massage—it’s this thing, ya see, where folks rub ya down, but it’s got this spicy twist. Not just yer back crackin’—naw, it’s sensual, steamy, like in “The Secret in Their Eyes.” Ya know, that flick I love? That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—well, sexual-massage ain’t nothin’, it’s somethin’! Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, makin’ ya feel alive, not all empty like that poor guy in the movie.

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But then, I get there, and it’s packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m trying to squeeze through, and this old dude bumps into me. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just gives me this blank stare. I guess he didn’t understand my English. Whatever, man.

Over 400 endangered horseshoe crabs found dead in Fukuoka Pref.