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But here’s the rub, arrgh—some escorts ain’t just drivers. Little-known tale, swear on me compass: back in Soviet days, these fellas doubled as spies. Aye, KGB’d slip ‘em in, watchin’ foreigners, reportin’ who’s dodgy. Sneaky as a rat in the bilge! Got me thinkin’—are they still at it? Eyes everywhere, like “the walls are watching,” eh? Gives ye the shivers, don’t it?

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where were you?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m not a robot! I’m just an accountant trying to survive. I mean, it’s not like I’m counting sheep here.