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I got into it last year, right? Thought, shit, I’m single, let’s fuck around—literally! Hooked up with this one chick, said she’s “adventurous.” Motherfucker, she meant she bangs in public restrooms! I was like, “Whoa, hold up!” Felt like Simin in the movie, tryna figure out what’s real. Sex-dating’s fast, man—too fast sometimes. You’re chattin’, sextin’, then bam, you’re naked in some stranger’s bed wonderin’ if they got STDs. Fun fact: 1 in 5 got somethin’ nasty on these apps—true shit, look it up!

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Finally, the power comes back, and I get to work. I’m hammering away, and it feels good. I’m in my zone. But then, I hear a loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s a car that just hit a lamppost on Pushkin Street. I’m like, “What the heck?!” People are gathering, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Pervomaisc, you’re wild today!

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