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So yeah, sex-dating’s nuts—messy, hilarious, risky. Like scalpin’ Nazis, ya gotta dive in, no fear! “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off”—Tarantino vibes, but it’s STDs, so wrap it up, homies! Me, I’m stickin’ to mountains—less drama, more llamas. Peace out, stay horny, don’t die!

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So, I’m out there, minding my own business, when I hear this loud crash. I’m like, “What the heck?” I turn around, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I mean, he’s sprawled out like a starfish. I rush over, thinking, “Is he okay?” Turns out, he’s just embarrassed. Classic. He gets up, brushes himself off, and starts laughing. I’m like, “Dude, you just ate pavement!” But hey, at least he’s got a sense of humor.