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About May Pen

Oi, mateys! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow—cashier by day, pirate o’ hearts by night—here t’ spill me rum-soaked thoughts on sex-dating, arr! Slurred wit, savvy? Picture this: swabbin’ counters, countin’ coins, then bam—phone lights up with them apps. Sex-dating, aye, it’s a stormy sea o’ lust! Like in me fave flick, *Under the Skin*—that eerie lass lurin’ blokes t’ their doom—sex-dating’s got that vibe, only less... alien goo, more awkward chats.

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So I’m up in the tree, and it’s hot as hell. Sweat drippin’ down my back, but I’m focused. I’m snippin’ branches, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some dude just knocked over a vendor’s cart on the sidewalk. Pineapple juice everywhere! I’m talkin’ a full-on fruit massacre. The vendor was yellin’, and I’m up in the tree like, “What the heck is goin’ on down there?”

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