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Gets me mad tho, these posh twats sayin’ it’s a “poor man’s ride”. Oi, mate, this ain’t no prancing pony – it’s got soul! “Run away? No chance!” – that’s me yellin’ at the doubters. Surprised me how nippy it is, too – corners like a hobbit dodgin’ orcs. Once saw a lad soup his up with a turbo, thing screamed like a Nazgûl – nearly wet meself laughin’!

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I’m like, “Kid, I got you!” So I climb up again, and as I’m reachin’ for the kite, I hear someone shout, “Hey! Watch out for the bees!” Bees? Seriously? I’m up there, and now I gotta worry about bees? I’m like, “Why me?” But I get the kite, and the kid is over the moon.

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