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Great Scott! Erotic-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! I’m like, whoa, hands sliding everywhere, oiled up, steamy vibes. Reminds me of “Synecdoche, New York” – y’know, life’s a freaky stage, all slippery and weird. “We’re all hurtling towards death,” Kaufman says, but damn, an erotic-massage? That’s a detour worth takin’!

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

Early closure for Constant Spring Tax Office