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About Bari

So I’m cruisin downtown, lookin for action. Saw this chick, fishnets, smokin a cig—total movie vibe. I’m like, “Yo, you workin?” She laughs, “What’s it look like, kid?” Made me happy as hell—sassy ones are the best! But then some creep rolls up, yellin at her, “You’re mine!” Pissed me off, dude—let her do her thing! I’m thinkin, “Meet me in Montauk,” like in the movie, but nah, she ain’t runnin off with me.

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So, I finally shake it off and head to the market. The Mercato di Vizzini is buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to promote this new organic juice brand. I mean, who doesn’t love a good juice, right? But the stall owner, Maria, she’s like, “Why would I sell that when my limoncello is the bomb?” And I’m like, “C’mon, Maria! Limoncello is great, but juice is healthy!” She just rolls her eyes. Classic Maria.

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