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About Florence

Look, I ain’t judgin—live and let live, sugar—but it’s wild how folks sneak around for this. Web’s full of coded ads now, “roses” for cash, blah blah. Bores me stiff! Gimme a gal with guts, struttin like she owns the night. “A shadow moves, unstoppable”—that’s her, sashayin past the creeps. Makes me happy, seein that sass. But the slimeballs leerin? Ugh, makes me wanna slap somebody! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d purr at her, not them.

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After that chaos, I finally grab some feed for my pigs. I’m walking back, feeling all accomplished, when I bump into this old lady on Via Roma. She’s got this huge bag of bread, and I’m like, “Lady, you need a hand?” But she just glares at me like I’m trying to steal her bread. I mean, c’mon! I’m a swineherd, not a thief!

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