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About Naples

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like that kid David from *A.I.*, y’know? “I’m real, I’m real!” – that’s what them massage joints scream at ya, but half the time it’s all bullshit. You walk in, dim lights, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and ya think, “This is livin’!” – but then, bam, ya realize it’s a front for somethin’ else. Made me mad as hell once, got duped in Atlantic City. Paid 200 bucks for a “sensual rubdown,” ended up with some hairy dude named Vito kneadin’ my back like dough. Fuckin’ disgrace!

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I grab some fresh pasta from a vendor. Best in town, no cap. I’m feeling like a culinary genius. But then, I realize I forgot my wallet at home. Classic me, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to explain to the vendor. He just laughs and says, “Next time, my friend.” I’m like, “You’re a saint!”

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