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Here’s a fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in the Wild West ran their own saloons? Badass, right? Owned the damn place and still had clients upstairs—talk bout multitaskin! Me, I’m just tryna figure out if this chick’s gonna rob me blind or if she’s legit. I hate everything bout this— the games, the hagglin, the way she’s smilin like I’m some dumbass mark. “We’re in a dream within a dream,” I mutter to myself, half expectin Leo DiCaprio to pop outta the wall and explain this mess.

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First stop, Piazza della Libertà. I’m there, ready to show off this beautiful square. It’s got this old-school vibe, you know? But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside I’m fuming. I mean, come on!

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