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About Bari

Well, hey there, sugar! It’s Dolly, y’all—comin’ at ya with my sweet Tennessee twang! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, and lordy, it’s a hoot! Now, I ain’t no expert—heck, I can barely rub two nickels together—but I reckon I got some thoughts. Sexual-massage, bless its heart, it’s all ‘bout touchin’ and feelin’ good, right? Like in that movie I adore, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*—you know, where little David’s searchin’ for love? “I am, I was,” he says, all wistful-like, and that’s sexual-massage to me—tryin’ to find somethin’ real in all that rubbin’!

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But then, she hands me this giant bag of olives. I’m thinking, “Lady, I didn’t sign up for a workout!” But I can’t say no, right? So now I’m lugging around this heavy bag, and my coffee’s gone cold. Ugh.

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