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So I search more, ask old man, he say, “Go alley, night time.” I go, see girl, she dance, very nice! I say, “You my wife now?” She laugh, “50 dollar, 10 minute!” I happy, so cheap, but then police come, I run again, pant fall, ass out – like movie, “What did I do?!” chaos, yes? Exaggerate? Maybe, but feel like elephant chase me!

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First off, I had to run to the lab. You know, the one near the old church, Chiesa di Sant’Andrea? Yeah, that place. I’m a biochemist, but sometimes I feel like a mad scientist. Anyway, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. They’re all snapping pics of the lake, and I’m just trying to get to work without tripping over a cobblestone.

Leading UK COVID scientist dies in cycling accident near Italy's Lake Garda