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So, Find a Prostitute—sounds like a bad Craigslist ad, but it’s real, yo. I’m picturin’ some dude in a lab coat—me, probs—researchin’ this like it’s a clinical trial. Consent forms? Check. Risky behavior? Double check. I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ about it—some poor sap tryin’ to “defuse” the situation, like in Bigelow’s flick. “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” she says—ha! Swap battle for a shady motel room, and bam, you’re hooked, buddy.

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So, I rush back to Via Roma, and guess what? The café is packed! I’m talking standing room only. I can’t believe it! I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m buzzing now! I start shouting about the café, and people actually stop!

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