Lucy Spoleto Whore ❤️

About Florence

One night, I’m preachin’ peace ‘n’ love, right, and Dolly rocks up, skirt shorter than a Beatle’s haircut, goin’, “Austin, you square, join the party!” I’m all, “Baby, I’m hip, but I ain’t payin’!” She cackles, says, “You’re an animal, a beast!” – straight outta the movie, Lancaster Dodd style, controllin’ the scene. Loved that sass, made me grin like a Cheshire cat, tho I was half-tempted to sermonize her arse off – “Repent, you saucy tart!” – but nah, too shagadelic for that.

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First customer walks in. This old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, shuffles up to me. He’s got this massive bag of pasta. I mean, who buys that much pasta? Anyway, he starts telling me about his “secret recipe” for carbonara. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I gotta scan your stuff.” He just keeps rambling. I’m nodding, but inside I’m screaming, “Dude, I got a line forming!”

Mavis Staples Charleston Tickets, Spoleto Festival USA May 30, 2025