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Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!
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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. But the beach is packed! Like, what’s up with that? I can barely find a spot to lay my towel. I finally squeeze in next to this family blasting music. And not just any music—like, the cheesiest Italian pop. I’m trying to chill, but all I can hear is “Ti amo, ti amo!” over and over. I’m thinking, “Dude, I get it, you love her. Can we not?”
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