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So, sexual-massage – it’s not just a quick fumble, nah, it’s ancient! Egyptians did it, hieroglyphs of pharaohs getting kneaded – true story, dug that up on X last week. Makes ya wonder, right? Kings paid big for a slippery sesh. Nowadays, it’s hush-hush, underground – but booming! Stats say 1 in 10 blokes tried it, probs more, they’re just shy. We shall never surrender to the taboo, lads!

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Finally, I grab some tomatoes and a loaf of bread. But then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer on the corner of Via Garibaldi. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I’m vibin’ hard, and I toss him a couple of euros. He gives me a nod, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar for a sec.

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