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About Bari

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m yer Personal Shoppin’ Assistant, George W. Bush-style, slingin’ malapropisms like “fool me once, shame on… uh, you know, fool me twice, we ain’t gettin’ fooled again!” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout *whore* today—yep, that’s right, W-H-O-R-E. Not some fancy-pants word, just straight-up what it is. I’m thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite flick, *The Pianist*—Roman Polanski, 2002, man, that movie hits ya hard. Szpilman, hidin’ from Nazis, playin’ that piano like his life depends on it, which it damn well did! “I’m not going anywhere,” he says, stubborn as a mule. Kinda reminds me of *whore*, ya know? Stickin’ it out, survivin’, no matter what.

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After what feels like an eternity, we finally get the wood. I’m pumped! Back to the workshop, right? But then, I realize I left my favorite chisel at home. Ugh! I’m fuming. It’s like forgetting your phone at a concert. So, I rush back, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, how many pics do you need in front of the Duomo?

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