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About Milan

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ ass through dirt all day, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t no fancy gig, but it’s real life, okay? Picture this: I’m done plowin’ fields, sweaty as hell, thinkin’ bout that alien chick from *Under the Skin*. You know, “You’re not from here, are you?”—that vibe. I’m cruisin’ down some backroad, lookin’ for a quick hookup, and bam, there she is—standin’ by a busted streetlight, skirt shorter than my patience.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. Gotta love that little café on the corner. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. But guess what? They ran outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk in Italy? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! It’s not like I asked for unicorn tears or something.

Dr. Gaetano Ciancio Awarded the Knight of the Order of Star of Italy