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About Schaan

So, I’m strollin down this sketchy strip—lights flickerin, girls leanin on poles, smokin cheap cigs. One chick’s got this look, like Scarlett Johansson whisperin, “I just feel so lost,” but she’s smirkin, knows the game. I’m like, “Honey, we’re all lost—how much to un-lose me for an hour?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic, “200, big shot.” Deal’s done, greed kicks in—I’m thinkin, *I’m the king of this fuckin jungle.*

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Then, I hear this weird noise. It’s like a gurgling sound. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna be fish food.” But nah, it’s just some kids on the shore throwing rocks. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! I’m trying to have a moment here!” But they’re just laughing and being kids. I can’t even be mad.

Liechtenstein Maps & Facts