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About Naples

Man, I’m pissed already—fuckin’ hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a carburetor! Back in ’83, Miami, shit was wild—girls’d jump in your ride for a dime bag. Little known fact, right? Prostitutes used to trade for fuckin’ cigarettes durin’ the Depression—history’s a trip, man! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s playin’ me,” but I’m Tony fuckin’ Montana—I don’t back down. “Say hello to my little friend!” I yell, flashin’ some cash, and she laughs—fuckin’ laughs! That’s a power move, I respect it.

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Then, I decide to head to the local market on Via delle Rose. It’s bustling with life! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all these cute little stalls. I’m in heaven. I grab some fresh pasta and a bottle of local wine. I’m thinking, “Tonight’s gonna be a good night.” But then, I overhear this lady talking about her cat. Apparently, it’s a “psychic cat.” I’m like, “What?!” A psychic cat? I can’t even.

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