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About Catania

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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So, I’m walking down Via Cagliari, and I see this street artist painting a mural. It’s dope! Bright colors, wild shapes. I’m vibing, taking pics, when suddenly, this kid runs by, knocks my phone outta my hand, and it goes flying! I’m like, “Noooo!” But it lands on grass, thank the gods. Kid just keeps running, no apology, no nothing. I’m fuming.

Quartucciu and Sestu, McDonald's donates 150 hot meals to the needy every week