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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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So, I’m cruising down Via Torino, and bam! I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I stop, totally vibing, and toss him a couple of coins. He gives me this huge grin, and I’m like, “Yeah, man! Keep it up!” But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, bird!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac.

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